With Friends like These who Needs Enemies
Posted: Monday, September 07, 2009
by Teresa Ortiz
Freelance writer/Speaker
Although I am going to weave some Christian thought into this piece, it really has more to do with common courtesy and compassion as a human being then it does about faith.
My former pastor and his wife have each been dealing with serious illnesses for the past several years – him with kidney failure and a subsequent kidney transplant and her with breast cancer. It seemed each was on the mend and things were looking great. Until recently, when she received a report from the doctor that the cancer has returned and the odds of beating it this time are not high. Currently, she is bedridden and weak, leaving all of the care of their twin daughters and son to him. Thankfully, all of their family members and many friends from within and outside of the church have stepped up to help in different ways.
Their help is in the form of highest spiritual value, not in the mundane and basic needs like a hot meal delivered, or picking the children up from school – and heaven forbid they should come and tidy the home.
Instead, they send up lifting messages by email to the pastor admonishing him and his wife to come to God in humility and repent of their sin and God will deliver them from this curse.
What Bible are they reading – surely not the Holy Bible! Yes, I am angry. These people call themselves friends and family in Christ. Sheesh! With friends like these who needs enemies. They obviously learned nothing from Job's friends.
Where is the compassion – religion aside, whatever happened to common courtesy? We see it all the time, inside the church and outside the church. People are cruel and insensitive. Movie stars are mocked and sneered at; "they deserve what they get," people say.
Whether or not a person "deserves" what they get, or are "sinning" when something bad happens is not the issue. The issue at hand is that he or she is hurting and they need to be comforted, not kicked a little harder.
This world is a mess because of selfish, self-righteous, me first, kinds of attitudes and it is disgusting. There is no excuse for this behavior, but especially for the one who professes a faith that teaches compassion and grace.
When people are hurting, put differences aside. Be compassionate, be love and life. Illness and disease are out of our control, but the poison that kills a soul and the love that comforts a soul are in our hands.
What will you choose?
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More commentsHi Teresa.I think Steve said it correctly. It's arrogant as well as insensitive.Great article!Hugs,DianneThanks Dianne (georgette ) :-) Hugs, T
Thanks for writing this piece Teresa. I'm glad your pastor and family have people like you to love them. I'll never understand the "friends of Job" mentality. SteveThanks Steve, I haven't seen Jeff or Karen since I moved to Oregon, but I stay in touch, my mother in-law and sister in-law still go to that church. May heart is still connected. I guess like Brianna said, we shouldn't try to understand that mentality. Only pray for those who have it. Blessings to you! I hope and trust all is going well for you?!
Excellent article Teresa,I want to be there to help in the simple ways for any family or friend. I know to well what it is like to have people there when I have been sick telling me to pray and repent. Hello! Yes this too makes me angry. I have had a hell of a past year and I can count the times on one hand that my real friends were there. It is heartbreaking. I also find it hard to believe that a lot of people don't seem to realize that the pastor and his wife (at least this one) are human and need friends and compassion also. We are not above reproach.Love, hugs and blessings,MichelleI hear you Michelle and I know that you stretch yourself thin to be everywhere you are needed. Praise God for that! Blessings to you! T
Yes, Teresa, they definitely seem to be like Job's so-called friends. One of worst things about having a serious illness (I've had stage 3 cancer twice in the past) is having to deal with people like that.Hi Terry, good to hear from you. It is the worst thing that can happen when faced with this. I'm sorry you had to deal with too. Unfortunately this is fairly normal and I know it breaks the heart of God. Glad to hear its past. Praying it never comes back again for you. Blessings, Teresa
you are a blessed creature,surrounded by light;spiritual people have much to offer;religious people scare me!paulHi Paul, thank you for the kind comment. I just want to be genuine reflection of the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Blessings to you! Teresa
Theresa, Theresa. I want to say, thank you for your word(s) I think you have found what you and some of us already know, man is doing that which is right in his own eyes. You are right, and man's eyes are full of sin and refuse to change.Amen Rev, Amen. May God change the hearts of his people. This behavior should not even be existent in the body of Christ.
I'd rather comfort the soul, T. This is an astounding, and 'need-to-read' article. I'm so thankful for you sharing it. Mainly because there are so many [people] that claim "holier than thou", but have no holiness inside of them, and that-to me is sin; the wages of sin is what?Thanks again, Teres for sharing a great article. Stay BlessedHi Ronyae, I figured you would and do :-) Thanks for the great review. It was raging in my heart to share. Blessings to you! T
It saddens me that there is so much lack of thought, kindness and consideration in this day and age. Worse yet, when it happens like this to good but suffering people, then it makes one wonder just where we are headed as a people. Actually, sensitivity and human kindness has gone to work (i.e., moms working and babysitters having to take over). And then when the family is home, it's everybody on their own. Kids head here, father there and mother - well she's now not minding the home. There's more at play here too. There's no civility, common decency has gone the way of "I did not have s_x with that woman," and everything in between. However, we go to church to pray, be good, honor the Lord, be kind and love each other - this incivility and lack of human consideration is insididuous and apparently has seaped into these neighbors. About all we can do is get the words out such as what you have done with your article, practice kindness ourselves, keep the faith and commandments and, if history repeats itself, perhaps more folks will wake up and find their way - some time! Your article made me think and also to be grateful for our family and our little tiny town here in Connecticut. Thank you Teresa - do what you can with the ones who care and too bad for the others . . .Hi there! Thanks so much for reading. It's good to meet you. I appreciate your input and I agree with you, let's hope and pray people wake up. Blessings to you! Teresa
Hey Teresa, I thought I would look up a few of your articles since you read my article on Sex and the bible. Sadly, there are many churches that are filled with spiritual pride. I was formerly a Baptist minister. I moved to Florida and was robbed off all of my money and my car. I quickly maxed out my credit cards, had no family and ended up homeless. I went to 7 different churches seeking help. All of them turned me away like I had the plague. I was not asking for a handout just a little help for which I offered to work for. I was broken hearted. I have often said that you can get more help from a drunk in a bar, than you can the average christian sitting in the pew. Slowly, I have come out of the trials and tribulations and am doing well starting a new ministry.Hi John, thanks so much for stopping by. It is sad that there are many stories like yours. I am praising God that you made it through and are now serving Him in new ways. People will fail us, but God never fails. You have my prayers and support!
Whatever happened to, "Weep with those that weep", "Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ", or "In this world you will have trouble"?
These are the things that most hurt the reputation of the Church in the eyes of those outside looking in.
Thanks for the update on this piece, Teresa. I pray comfort and peace to your struggling friends.
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