Somewhere Between I Don't know and I Don't Know, Is Confidence
Posted: Tuesday, April 28, 2009
by Teresa Ortiz
Freelance writer/Speaker
It seems as if I have been living in the land of "I Don't Know" for quite some time. Maybe you can relate; life seems to be going in a direction that you did not give it permission to go. Like me, you are normally a strong person but lately, strength escapes you.
Two-weeks ago was my breaking point. A time to surrender to the frustration and allow my self to be vulnerable. Sure, in the back of my mind I knew this was the better route to go, but I remained strong and kept busy so I wouldn't break. I knew that if I let down my guard, it would be all over and the tears would flow - and flow - and flow, and flow they did.
As the tears flowed, I could sense God's still small voice saying, "It's about time you were honest with me; now I can do a great work in your heart".
It was then my heart (I say heart, because my head knew this, but head knowledge is ineffective without action.) realized that being vulnerable and reaching out to God and to others is actually where real strength is found - not in the superficial wall of strength called denial.
Like I said, that was two weeks ago, and since that time, the joy has increased to a higher degree. My circumstances have not changed; my husband is still far away. As I write, I miss him more than I have since he has been gone and yet I can honestly say, I have joy because my confidence comes from the God of all creation and not myself. His plans for our life are for good and not evil, and they provide a future and a hope, which can be relied upon one hundred percent.
I have been thinking about all of this since Bible study this morning. How funny that one of the women asked me when my husband would be home and what our plans were as far as moving was concerned.
I responded with, "He will be home mid-May through mid-June, then gone again, and then be home somewhere between I don't know and I don't know. As soon as those words came out of my mouth, there was peace. "God will make our path clear and we will know what to do next", I added.
With this came a new confidence in the words I read everyday from the Scriptures. I share a few with you today, hoping and praying they give you the same confidence they give me.
" I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works. And that my soul knows very well. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great are the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I wake I am still with You." Psalm 139:14, 17-18
"Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6
"For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16
If you are tired of being the strong one, use your strength one last time and surrender your deepest concerns to God. He knows what you are thinking anyway, so you might as well come clean so that you can be refreshed - trust me, it works, and when our confidence is in God, we are in a better position to make wise decisions instead of rash ones driven by our emotions.
Whatever your circumstance, God can and will bring beauty for ashes; strength (His strength) for fear you need only invite him in.
For all of you who have loved ones far away from home - I am praying for you!
"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning" King David
(C) Teresa Ortiz
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More commentsVery open and very well done. Thanks for sharing this.Hi Michael, thank you for reading and for the kind comments. Have a blessed day!Teresa
Excellent Teresa,The tears are so healing. The honesty and submissiveness you have shown to the Lord is all over this article. Thank you girlie! I love you.Love, hugs and blessings,MichelleThank you Michelle, I do hope it helps others to look Up - Hugs, and love right back to you!
Teresa,I can relate. Enough said, but I still have some more to say (smile). This is such a beautiful write, and I find prayer as a great time for release. Thanks for sharing this with us.Hi Ronyae,you are funny :-). Yes, prayer is a great time of release and communion with God.Blessings to you! Teresa
You are so right Teresa when you said, "If you are tired of being the strong one, use your strength one last time and surrender your deepest concerns to God. He knows what you are thinking anyway." I am so happy you have newfound strength which will get you through until you see your husband again! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with us. Stay strong.Thanks for reading Brianna, and for your words of encouragement. I take them straight to heart! Have a beatiful day! Blessings to you. Teresa
...but joy comes in the morning." You're right, sometimes it is hard trying to be the strong one. But I think--and this month shows it--that that is the fate of all mothers, being the strong one.God Bless and best wishes.SandraThak you Sandra, yes - God made us strong - but he never intended us to be strong without him.Blessings to you and happy Mother's Day! Hugs, Teresa
Teresa,You answered my question and in doing so answered another. I think of you often wondering, 'Is Teresa's husband home yet?'In answering that question, however, you opened my eyes with words that solved another puzzle. Thank you, dear Teresa, for those good thoughts.Now that I have you confused, no worry. All is well, and I thank you,NancyHi Nancy, thank you for thinking of me. It is a comfort to my SW thinks and prays for my family. What a gift.I don't mind being confused as long as all is well and settled for you :-)Love and hugs, Teresa
Great article. Well done.Do you mind if I join you "in the land of I don't know". I got in big troubble at a part time job I once had when I was not sorry about calling one of the bosses a "snob without reason to be".Hi Connor,oops, maybe not the wisest thing to say, but sometimes people just need to hear it like it is. Thanks for joining me, I pray you will find God's peace and confidence while you are in the land of "I don't know".Your friend,Teresa
I could identify with your pain. I miss my family very much and if I had it to do over again I would not have made the move I made and would still be living closer to them. God Bless you and your honesty.Linda DHi Linda. It's crazy sometimes, isn't it?! But thankfully, we have a God who cares and will be with us if we would only ask Him to join us. Sometimes we don't make the best decisions, other times we are exactly where God wants us to be. And for now, I know God is working some good things out even while we are apart. I am sure it is the same for you and your family. Perhaps one of these days, go will bring you closer again.Thanks for your support. Love you! Teresa
Our God is faithful and caring. Thank you for bringing that to our attention.Hi David.Thank you, I do hope it is a good reminder for many and hopefully an encouragement for others to call on God for the first time. A humbled heart and repentance goes a long way :-)Blessings! Teresa
Hi Sis.I had read this piece sometime ago but got called away everytime I wanted to leave a comment!Your life is a testament to His Grace and Love, not to mention His Wisdom in selecting His teachers.Wonderful article, inspiring, uplifting and most relevant.Thanks for making your back to leave this wonderful comment. I am humbled. To God be the glory - He is an amazing God and I am blessed that He would use be despite my shortcomings.Have a beautiful week! Love, Sis
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