How do You Say Goodbye (Or is it See You Later) to a Soldier who is Going to War
Posted: Tuesday, March 10, 2009
by Teresa Ortiz
Freelance writer/Speaker
We have been talking about it for years, we knew this day would come. Nevertheless, I don't th
ink we actually believed it would. It's at least two years away, we would say. By then we will have a new president, and the war will be over.
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Patti and me were destined to be friends for life--we knew nothing would ever come between us the day we met. It was during English class our freshmen year in high school. We did what all girls that age did and talked about the important things in life, things like "Do you have a boyfriend?" It didn't take long to figure out that we shared the same boyfriend all summer. Matt and I broke up just before school started, but he and Patti were still a couple.
This should have been the end of it. No way could we be friends after this, but Patti, being the clever one, came up with the most amazing plan. "I am supposed to meet him in the smoking area after class, come with me." Seriously, I reply. "Yeah, it will be perfect."
I will never forget the look on his face as we approached him--he was all smiles until he saw me--and the rest is history. Although, I should point out that the guy with Matt that day, was named Dean. Dean and Matt were best friends until Patti broke up with Matt and started dating Dean. Now this is what I call sweet justice.
That was back in 1981--and like everyone always says, where does the time go? Someday I might write about some of our most memorial times; but for now, there is a heavier weight pressing through my bones.
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Dean the 2nd, or Deano as we call him, is home with his parents for a few days before he heads back to Hawaii where he will await deployment to Iraq.
The timing couldn't have been better as I would be vacationing with my husband during the same week. I would think about about our visit periodically for days before our dinner date; I will ask him if I can pray with him, I will pray for wisdom, safety, etc. I will give him a small Bible designed for Airmen.
Last night we went to their place. We had a wonderful dinner. We laughed about the different T.V. shows we watch. We talked about Art being with them on Thanksgiving and how he and Adam, their youngest son, were so into the German Zombie X-Box game, they missed the call for desert.
Patti and me caught up on other stuff while Dean, Art, and Deano were smoking cigars out in the garage. We didn't specifically talk about him leaving, only about the details that needed to be handled by the 24th of March.
As the night went on, we sat around watching re-runs of Two and a Half Men. I was beginning to feel awkward knowing it was getting late and we would need to leave soon.
We lingered for a few minutes as it came time to give our goodbye hugs. With Dean, Patti and Adam, it was easy--"See you on Saturday, thanks for dinner."
But when it came time to hug Deano, I had no words. No big prayer, and no Bible. "I love you, let's keep in touch. "Will you be able to get on facebook or will you have e-mail?" All I could manage after that was a simple, "Take care of yourself, see you soon."
As we drove away, I had mixed feelings. Did I say enough? Would Patti prefer it that way? How do you say goodbye to a Soldier?
Deano is like a son to me. He and Britt are the same age. They shared the same crib, they napped together, and they were each other's first crush. Even though we moved to Oregon 15 years ago, our friendship remained strong--in fact, it grew stronger.
This morning as I write, my emotions come to surface and I can only half imagine how Dean and Patti are feeling. I won't patronize them, I can't possibly tell them I understand how they feel.
All I can say now is that for the first time, I have a faint idea of what parents feel, and have felt for centuries when their children go off to war. My prayers have always been sincere, but now there is an emotional attachment that will forever change the way I approach the throne of God on behalf of all our military men and women.
Patti is doing her part to support her son and all the troops by volunteering for the USO, something will be writing about in the next week or two.
Words are not enough to express the love and pride I have in my heart for this young man. It doesn't surprise me that he would choose the Special Forces division of the Air Force, he has always been a generous person, thinking of others before himself. He is physically and mentally strong and I know he was given this heart and these skills for such a time as this.
God says there is a time for peace and a time for war. Whether or not this war is justified is not the issue. The fact is our young men and women are dedicated and committed to seeing this thing through. They need our love, our prayers, and our respect. We all have seen the devastating effects on a soldier who was left unattended to. May it not be so this time around.
See you later soldier and may God guide your every decision.
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More commentsThis is a very moving and heart-tugging article. My heart goes out to all loved ones facing such a crisis.Hi Ken,Thank you for reading and for your heartfelt comment. I suppose anything is never so real as when it hits home.Blessings to you and your family! Enjoy your family bbq!Your friend,Teresa
Teresa, again you never disappoint me with your thoughts, pure and sincere. I was in a form of special forces in the Vietnam war, I was what they called a "River Rat", I wrote a poem about it, and my family had to say "See Ya" when I left for boot camp, and then again when I headed off for war over in Vietnam. I know what you feel, and as a Navy man, I know what you are saying. but it is enough for every military man or woman, to know you will be thinking and praying for them. Do what you do best, and pray for him which I sure you do. That is a great gift. I loved your article, your fan, and friend in pen.......Gary......(I am back after a week, I had to plan and prepare for a DJ gig for a couple that was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. I wrote about that too......Great article , and I loved the read.Hi Gary,Thank you for all your support. Praise the Lord you made it home! It's crazy and often hard to understand why some do and some don't, I suppose it is the nature of the beast.I am still away from home, and staying pretty busy, so I don't have too much time to read and comment. I am getting a few in. The computer I am using moves slow and often kicks me out or freezes, but I am managing. The upside is, my mom will be upgrading her computer and getting rid of dial up :-)I will catch up on your great stories asap!..60 years! Wow! That is worth celebrating 10 times over. What a treat for you to be a part of!Your friend, Teresa
Very moving story. I don't have anyone directly that has been involved in this war but my neighbors son is in Afganhstan and when she told me he was going I could sense her fear. I don't know what to say either but I pray for them and his safe return.Linda D.Thanks Linda,It is so important that we minister to those who have loved ones involved in any way we can.Blessings,Teresa
Teresa,Well done and your title is so appropriate. I happened to watch Taking Chance last night and found it so moving and yet I'd prefer my son (the one who goes in this June) not see it.Thank you for these words which brought tears to my eyes as well.NancyHi Nancy,I didn't catch that show. I will be praying for your son as well.It's not an easy time with no easy solution. May God's grace abound!Blessings,Teresa
I am quite an expert on the First World War. So I will relate this to the first world war. I can tell you that it was difficult for all families but especially for those whose loved one were conscripted. Initialy people thought the war would be over by Christmas. No-one relised the reality of war so they would be less upset. The fact the goverment introduced showed the reality of war had been relised by the people so they did not join in the same numbers.Going to Iraq nowadays would be worse as we see the reality. Because we have free press and do not - as far as I know have censorship.Hi Connor, Thank you for reading and adding your insight.I think the face of war has changed over the years and will continue to do so.Lord bless you!Teresa
That was really good. Everyone could see that that came from the heart. I dont think I could bear saying goodbye to someone who might not come back.Hi Eleanor,Welcome to SW! Thanks for reading and taking a moment to comment.I think we just need to express our love in more tangable ways during these times.Blessings to you!Teresa
Teresa,Very touching article. You have voiced out the same emotions of many mothers, fathers and many relatives who have thier dear ones as soilder of the country. Thank you for this beautifull article which makes my heart to feel for those who are in such situations. What can be done? I do not know but I pray that may the peace that passeth all understanding cover every heart who is hurting.regards,SwapnaHi Swapna,yes, our prayers are the greatest gift we can give.Thank you for commenting and joining in prayer! Blessings, Teresa
I am agreed with Swapna!The emotion in the article is very touchy & moving...Very good article & keep writing wondersssss......Thank you Mr. Candle :-)Blessings to you. Keep shining bright!Teresa
As a Soldier who deployed, just hearing you support us in what we do is enough. Trust me on that.Hi Ryan, thank you for taking a moment to comment. It is brings comfort to my heart hearing from a soldier. May God bless you with wisdom and watch over you and your family!Teresa
hey. thanks for the article. i have a very close friend leaving in three weeks for iraq. hes basically a brother i never had, so honestly im quite scared. i know hes right for the job, this is what he has always wanted to do. i keep telling him that i will break a leg for him if he doesnt want to go, but i know hes stubborn enough he would go anyway :) its going to break my heart to see him leave, and i cant imagine the pain his mom and dad will have. ive been trying to think of something that i can say that will make it easier, but so far nothing has come to me.and to all those who are in this situation, weather a loved one is leaving, or you yourself are deploying, i have the utmost respect for your sacrifice. God bless each and everyone of you! and thank you for your service to America!Hi Jeremy, thank you for reading and taking a moment to share your story. I will be praying for your friend.I understand the loss for words. I think Ryan, (a previous commentor and serviceman) said it well. It's not so much what we say, its just making sure they know they are loved and supported.I am thanking everyone with you! Lord bless you always, Teresa
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