Nick Hogan and John Graziano: A Nobody's Point of View
Posted: Monday, June 16, 2008
by Teresa Ortiz
Freelance writer/Speaker
I will start by saying I am a "nobody". Someone who is offering her two-cents based on what we are seeing and hearing all over the news-although, my daughter was in a car accident with a friend who was driving 70-miles an hour down hill on a winding road while it was raining….
Some might think I am terrible for what I am about to say, but I am going to say it anyway because I haven't heard it on the news thus far. But please, reserve your judgment until you get to the end.
My heart hurts for the Hogan family. Or more appropriately, the Bollea family. Why you ask? Let me tell you.
Terry and Linda are blinded by the selfish love they have for their son. It is far easier for them to blame John (and God), for his circumstances then to admit their son was driving recklessly. They are blinded by the "me first" attitude that society as a whole preaches and they are blinded by greed. Now to be fair, we have only heard what the media has wanted us to hear, so who knows, maybe they have expressed remorse to John's family. I doubt it, but only God knows.
I admit, my first instinct is to ridicule and judge this family-how dare they try to make money off this tragedy! However, I want them to come to their senses and do the right thing. I want their hearts to break and seek mercy and forgiveness from John Graziano's family. Nevertheless, if all I do is judge and throw stones, how is that going to affect change? I can't help but wonder what would happen if everyone who is casting judgment, albeit deserved, would call on God and ask him to work a mighty miracle in the Bollea family's hearts.
Would we see a different family? Would we see remorse and repentance? Would we see them reach out to the Graziano family? I believe we would. I know I am not alone and I pray more would join me.
On the other hand, no one is talking about John's decision to get into the car with Nick. These guys were best friends! I would be willing to bet this wasn't the first time they were racing around town. The media isn't telling us o-v-e-r and over again what John's alcohol levels were, and no one can prove that John was begging Nick to slow down or stop the car. Please don't misread what I am saying. My heart breaks for John and his family as well, I pray for a miracle for him, and I pray for the finances and everything that goes along with his treatment. However, the media is making it sound as if Nick forced him into the car and perhaps forced him to party.
For those who think I sound ruthless, let me tell about the accident I mentioned in my opening paragraph. Brittany was aware of how fast her friend drove--being her friend how could she not know…well, this particular night, Cassy lost control and the car flipped over, skid 20-30 feet, and landed in between two trees. As parents, we had a choice. Do we put all of the blame on Cassy's parents and make them responsible for their daughter's driving habits? Or, do we accept responsibility for our choice in allowing our daughter to ride with others? We chose the latter.
Granted, this situation is far worse and much more serious, but the bottom line here is that a long time friendship has been destroyed. More importantly a life has been changed forever. Nevertheless, I believe that this situation has the potential to be used for the good in many ways if there was repentance and forgiveness for everyone involved.
These boys were close and I have a hard time believing that the Hogan family did not love John. Their actions show otherwise and yes, their actions are despicable, but again, judgment is not going to accomplish a thing.
I am praying for change, I am praying for healing and restoration. I am praying for soft hearts, won't you join me? Let's be the voice of change and not just the same old thing.
Heavenly Father,
I ask for a miracle, Lord I pray that you would bring
healing to John's body. Show yourself strong on his
behalf, that all the world may know that you alone are God.
I pray for your sweet conviction to come upon Nick while
he is alone in his cell. Meet with him there. I pray he would hear your
gentle voice and respond. Lord, I pray that you would
bring him to a place of repentance so that he will reach out to his best
friend's family. I pray for the entire Bollea family.
Turn their hearts, may you be glorified in this situation
and turn the tide. I know restoration and healing are your will,
and you promised that if we pray according to your will, it shall
be done, so I am asking. Father, cleanse me of my sin
that my prayer would not be hindered. I pray for all those
who are casting judgment to stop and consider their own sin so
that we all come together to seek your face
on behalf of these two families.
In the name of Jesus, I pray.
All who would agree, say, Amen
Teresa, You put alot of yourself in this piece. I believe as you do. That we as parents need to take some responsibility on who our children get in the car with or association. Maybe they need to put themselves in the other shoes and try to look at this from the other's point of view. What they are not seeing is we have a almighty God who can make a bad situation into a miracle. Thanks for your thoughts and input on such a tragedy for all involved.Thanks for your comments and I'm glad you saw my heart--the heart the God has given me for this situation. Thanks for joining in prayer. I am also reminded our our tradegy 4 years ago within our community. Kyle, Andrew and Brian will always be in our memories--the problem is other kids see this and think, "that will never happen to me, I'll be smarter". So sad. We need to be busy praying, and its not just the boys that like to drive fast....
Teresa, I had started to write to this as well but because of that backed away. Too many who can't comprehend. The issues at hand are complicated. The fact that Nick may be viewed as a spoiled rich boy is only more aggrivated by the TV commentary on his driving, with his mom making statements in my opinion that frankly many would question if any adult of sound reasoning could make? Now judgement is natural when we hear and see a grown woman with a 19 year. Yet that aspect also plays into it all. She was in my opinion a major shaper of this boys thinking and attitude as to what led to his behavior and this horror story. Was Terry Bollea a part, probably, he condonned it as well. The young man injured, well he went through a war, saw death and as far as we can suppose as a Marine had no fear. I saw it first hand in my family. The not me them opinion. So John, as supposedly the older more mature young man, could have been a positive influence. Was he, no one knows? The fact that as an adult he did not wear a seat belt is a choice which might have led to the severity of the injury, who knows? The fact that he went for the ride, with a teen and knowing that teen drove carelessly and perhaps said nothing is another matter but an important one.As adults we too must accept responsibilty even when the results are so horrific. Terry Bollea, as we understand did and was paying expenses at the hospital and I understand the difference cames between the dad and that the mom until recently was not at odds with the Hogans. I cannot address the why of it all just the facts as reported. Certainly the physical state of their child and the impact on other family members would generate the highest of emotions. . I would hope that if this boy came out of his condition he would stand up and say that. I think he would and with that in mind his care is the issue not the money. There are ways to do this without destroying. It is so sad. I join you in prayer for them all and especially this boy. best wishes, robertThanks Robert. It is a sensitive issue, but worth mentioning because these types of things happen everyday to many "nobodies". Its a tragedy. But because these people are famous it takes up a lot of air space. I appreciate your input and thanks for joining in prayer!! Teresa
hi t, i felt the same way, exactly, UNTIL i watched a whole hour of hulk hogan on larry king. he was more than remorseful, told how he slept at the hospital for days, how he begged john's family for forgiveness, and how he paid for john's mother's rent, because she is divorced and didn't have the money. he talked about loving john, and having him at his home often. many times, he cried. he looked awful, and said he hadn't slept much since this happened. i was impressed, although skeptical, but when i watched his face as he talked, i could feel his pain, not only over his son's, but over john and his family. he also, along with his lawyer, said the media took everything that has been said, and only picked out excerpts that sounded bad, and that there were witnessess who will be testifying that they weren't drag racing. he was truly in pain, he didn't seem to be acting. maybe you could go to cnn and look up that show of larry king's. it was on last week. well written article, best regards, sue thomHi Sue, thanks so much for sharing this information. I just couldn't believe that what we saw over and over again was the whole story. I refused to believe it and yet what they did say was so bad. I am going to check out that interview. I was a faithful watcher of Hogan knows best when it was on and I fell in love with the family. I do believe what we heard were emotions running high and scared. I often think about how I would sound if someone were to take a few minutes of my conversations or venting during a time of trial. Yikes!!! Like I said, I believe there is hope for this situation and pray we see the best outcome in a bad situation. Thanks again for the comment.
Hi Teresa, I see your heart in this. Thank God for the angels watching over our children. Living here in Clearwater we get a lot of information and opinions from people. I believe that Terry Bollea (Hulk Hogan) has a heart for God, but is extremely concerned for his son's welfare. You know all that we have gone through with our son, and he was raised in a Christian home with good values. Thank God, he's well and doing great now, but that was truly a "God thing". As far as Nick coming from a wealthy family, I can see that in itself as being a problem for him as well as a blessing. People look strongly to the law to make sure the "rich kid" gets what they believe he deserves, and on the other hand his family does have resources that some of the rest of us may not. Nick made some bad choices, I believe we all do - young and old. I also believe that John was extremely close to Nick and spent a great deal of his time with the Bollea's. Terry still has not given up on John and expects him to be well. Only God knows the answers to all of this. I am certainly not going to judge them. God can definitely take something, as we see as bad, and turn it around for His glory. We just need to keep both of these families lifted up and let God be the one to judge and heal them. Just my thoughts. Blessings, CathyHi Cathy, thanks so much for your response. I do believe God is watching over both of these families. It breaks my heart to see such articles of hatred toward the Hogan family. I saw one titled "Hogan, you really @#$@#&*ed off God" Now's how's that for a terrible statement? I didn't even read the thing, and perhaps I am judging a book by its cover, but I can guess what it might be about. I'm sure being closer to the situation does bring more information that to us here on the west coast. Yes, you and I and many others understand the grace of God and how he can turn a bleek situation into something wonderful. Thanks for praying. Both families are in need and I believe if the media backed off, these families just might be able to come together. Thanks again for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Hi Everyone, It's me, Teresa. So I reread my article and I noticed something that I did. It came so natural, it took several times for me to see it. It just proves that I need God! I made a judgmental statement with three little words, "I doubt it". Shame on me. It amazes me how that flowed so easy from my lips to my fingers without realizing I was doing the very thing I was saying not to do!!! So forgive me Lord, and forgive me my faithful friends and readers. My heart truly is in the right place. I wish I could blame the media for swaying my thoughts, but that would be wrong. Anyway, thanks for all the comments thus far. God bless and heal these families!! Teresa
Teresa, your total spiritual being is felt in this article and your personal comment. The love of God rests, rules and abides in you. I join you in prayer. Amen.Thanks Avis! I'm humbled! Love you much, Teresa
I didn't even know about this til I read your article. What a horrible situation. You brought out some valid points. Forgiveness is always hard, but good.Hi Lorrie, it is a sad situation. The media doesn't help. They can be so one-sided. But as Sue pointed out, there is Terry's side--which I hadn't heard. This, like most every other situation, is a clear example of why we shouldn't be so quick to make harsh judgements. There is always more to the story and I think we would do well to incorporate this into our everyday lives in our own little worlds. Thanks for taking a moment to read and comment. Forgiveness is costly-it requires dying to ourself and giving up our right to be right. All we have to do is look at Jesus to see this is true. Blessings to you and yours.
You are right, we don't want to judge. However, from an objective standpoint, we have to see what happens in the world of Showbiz. Currently, with reality shows, surreal semi-scripted dramas, Hollywood is becoming a a breeding ground for Borderline Personality Disorder. As a person who has been trained in Interpersonal Communication, I really mean this in the most clinical terms. It is difficult for one to see anyone elses pain if they are so caught up in the ego. Until we stop celebrating such behavior with reality shows, we will see more of it.You make a very good point, Carmellita. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here. I will be reading your very soon. I appreciate your input and that of others as well. It brings balance to any topic. Have a great day!
Teresa, you, and anyone else with a body, mind, soul, heart and voice, will never be a 'nobody' regarding any topic. Anyone with an opinion on any topic for which they are or are not highly educated in or involved in, if you have a passionate feeling about any subject than you have an 'God' given right to share your thoughts and feelings about it, and you have a right to be heard. Thanks for the inspirational thoughts on this subject.Hi Steve, thanks so much for your response, you make a good point :-). It's is much appreciated. I look forward to reading more from you.
Hi Teresa. I just read this article and I will definitely join you in prayer. I also journal prayer requests so I can look back to see how awesome God is when prayers are answered. I have to admit however, that I am just as guilty to get angry and judgemental at times. Also, I have experienced personally how the media can fabricate a story just so they can sell it. I have learned to trust Christ alone and for the most part, keep my nose on my face. Great article. Someday, I will be able to write as well as you I hope. Oh yeah! I am also a nobody in this world, but when I see Jesus face to face it won't matter.Hi Michelle, thanks for reading and joining in prayer. And thanks for your kind words about my writing...I think its getting better, from one novice to another, just share from your heart :-) And yes, when we see Jesus face to face--nothing in this world will matter. If we don't meet on this side of heaven, I'll meet you in the sky. God Bless. Thanks for the prayers!!