Good Parent, Bad Parent - Good God, Bad God
Posted: Friday, May 09, 2008
by Teresa Ortiz
Freelance writer/Speaker
How would you rate yourself as a parent? Would you say you are a good one? What would be your qualifying reasons? What if one were to ask your teenaged child-would they agree with your assessment, or would they say you were mean, judgmental and narrow minded?
Getting back to the first question; if you rated yourself as good, what are the reasons? Following is a list of reasons given over the years:
2. I set boundaries for them and tell them the consequences that will follow if they cross the line.
3. I warn them not to touch a hot stove or not to play with fire because they will get burned.
4. I warn them to stay away from strangers and tell them that there are evil people in the world who are looking to harm them while pretending that they are friendly.
As a parent, you know that your teen's perspective on the short list above is a bit different from yours. Following is a list of responses I have heard over the years.
1. I love you too.
2. You're so strict, I never get to have any fun. I thought you said you loved me.
3. You're just trying to scare me into doing what you want me to do. It won't really burn.
4. You're just afraid that I might meet someone who is nice. Bobby's parents are great, they let him go anywhere he wants.
Obviously, this list is just the tip of the iceberg. Still, it makes a good point. So, once again I would ask; are you a good parent or a bad parent? I suppose it depends on whom you ask. As parents, we have experienced hardship and pain; we know what straying from the counsel of our parents did to us. Looking back to our teen years, we might remember a time or two when we thought our parents were mean, to strict and narrow minded. However, as we got older, we understood that it was love that compelled them. It was their knowledge that caused them to warn us of the consequences of straying.
Let's consider God in this same light. Is God a good God or a Bad God? Unfortunately, many "experienced" adults act like teenagers when asked this question. He is accused of being a narrow minded God who just lays out rules and regulations to be followed or else they will suffer the consequences. Why is it that many who take pride in the fact that they raised their children with guidelines and values that taught them to be good people are quick to say that they do not want to follow a God who does the same?
Perspective. However, is perspective the measure? God is love and He is the Creator of all things. Therefore, how much more experienced is He? It would seem that He is the one who is qualified to warn and set boundaries for His children.
Wouldn't you agree that putting a little bit of fear in your children teaches them to respect and trust you? Why then is God accused of being a bad God for doing them same? It would seem logical that if one considers God bad and narrow minded for setting boundaries, then one must consider themselves a bad parent for doing the same.
Would you pick and chose when you are going to be your parent's child? No, that is silly. You are either their child or not. Either you choose to accept them and honor them as your parent, or you divorce yourself from them, be your own parent and deal with the consequences.
The same applies to God. We can't call him Father when it is convenient and then say He is not our Father when he lays down the rules. You are either His child or not. Either you choose to honor Him as your God and Father or you divorce yourself and be your own God. It's simple logic. God is God 100% of the time or He is not.
"And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the LORD loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives." Hebrews 12:5-6
As a good parent forgives when a child disobeys and comes to his or her senses, God does the same. Be our own god or be a child; the choice is ours.
One last time; are you a good parent or bad parent? Is God a good God or bad God?
© Teresa Ortiz
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Top-level comments on this article: (7 total)Thanks, Sugar. It's good to remember, that no matter how old we are, we are children in God's eyes. We are so blessed to be called His children!!! Happy Mother's Day! CathyHi Cathy, happy Mother's Day to you too! Yes, I am glad to be a child of God and glad that He warns me of harm and shows me how to live. God Bless you! Teresa
" Wouldn't you agree that putting a little bit of fear in your children teaches them to respect and trust you? Why then is God accused of being a bad God for doing them same?" Great point Teresa! I loved the reminder! In the past, I have viewed his guidance as punishment or anger towards me-what a relief to see that God is love and every action he takes is because He is love! As always, great job! thanks for sharing!Hi Laura, I'm glad you saw what I was trying to say. What I believe God wants us to understand about His character. My daughter thinks of God's law as good advice from the Perfect friend. I love that. and in fact, her comment to me is what inspired this article. Many people do not see it this way, I didn't for a long time. But God's grace showed me the way. Have a wonderful weekend and Happy Mother's day!!
hi t, well written, and good analogies. however, fire and brimstone i think are a lot harsher than grounding. i'll be divorced soon, and i forget from my catholic days what that means, but it's something. damned, scorned, sent to Hell, burned at the stake. i don't think so. i feel God's despair for me, and His loving arms around me. free choice, wrong one. learn and move on. thanks for sharing, best regards, sueHi Sue, thanks for sharing. And I agree with you. that is a Catholic -manmade teaching. God does not say people go to hell for divorce. He says he hates divorce because of the pain it causes. And yes, God feels your pain and his loving arms are around you. It's hard to separate religious teachings of an organized religion from the teachings of God. that is why I love the Bible. It teaches God's perspective, if we use Scripture to interpret Scripture, we will see it from God's point of view, but if we take a passage of Scripture and build a doctrine around it without consulting the rest of Scripture we will get it wrong. Hense, hell, fire and brimstone type of attitude. I feel your frustration. It's why I wrote this article, to hopefully point out a perspective that will help people who have a bad perception of God because of bad examples. Blessings to you, happy Mother's Day! Love, Teresa
Streight and to the point. However, like you asked, what makes us a good or bad parent or person for that matter? The answer is very simple as far as God goes. Love, Honor Obey. You do the first two in the deed of the last. Now here is the part many have trouble with "Trials will always be with you". Frankly no one wants trials and with all these TV based evangelists saying just give and all will be well, frankly it just isn't so. God has a purpose for everyone of us and sometimes we do not like what we have to go through to achieve that purpose. Sometimes we chart our own course and do not like the results. Yes, even Mother Teresa doubted. It is the human side of us all. Great lesson, great wisdom ,good job.Hi Robert, thanks for your input. It always adds a little more depth. It encourages me when what I write would cause others to think and add their thoughts and point of view. I am blessed because of it and it helps me to gain understanding. You know my heart is to write what God would have me write so that He will get the glory. If one heart is turned to at least question my points, then I am happy. Nothing wrong with doubt, even King David doubted, it's what we do with the doubt that makes or breaks us. Blessings to you!
Hi Teresa, Thanks for another excellent article. As far as your question goes, I would have to say, "sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes nuetral", yet always wanting to be great. I did not have a good role model in my earthly father, but I have a PERFECT one in my Heavenly Father. The other day my oldest son - now in his late 30's - called to pick Dad's brain about some challenges he is facing as a parent of a teen. That was such an honoring phone call. He actually cares what Dad has to say! There certainly were days when it was not so. Happy Mother's Day! May your children rise up and call you blessed!Hi Dane, thanks for responding and for the kind word. I feel the same, sometimes good and sometimes bad, but our heavenly Father--always good!! I did not have a good example of an earthly father as he wasn't even in the home (though God is a God of restoration-another story all together) so it was hard to comprehend a heavenly Father as that didn't do much for me. I am sure you understand. Praise the Lord that your son called you! It's great to break those generational strong holds. Thanks for the Mother's Day wish!
Excellent parallel Teresa.Hi Steve. Thanks a bunch. It has been on my mind because it has come up quite a bit lately, so I thought I would pass it on. I just hope it helps someone understand that God is a loving God and that it why he warns us of the consequences of sin and most importantly rejecting His Son, Jesus the Christ. Have a wonderful weekend!
Hi Teresa, This was an amazing description of how it is as an adult child of God. Sometimes we want to do things our way. But what we forget it God has a plan and it is perfect for our lives. He will guide you and show you the way as long as you seek him and his ways. I am so thankful that he has taken me back into his arms and loves me as his child. Now for my child who has now decided she doesn't want to believe in him. That hard for a mom who only wants what is best for her child. Thanks again for allowing the Lord to talk to you and share with your words.Hi Sherry! Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to share your thoughts. God is faithful, and we must not lose heart; God will be faithful to cause those seeds that have been planted in your children to flourish. (I'm talking to myself too.) Praying they hear God's loving voice and that they respond sooner rather than later. Yes, we can act like little brats at times, but God has big shoulders and he is patient and loving and always their to take us back. The key for us to be draw so near to Him and to know His word well, so that we follow with a grateful heart and believe Him at His word so that we remain in Him once we come back. Psalm 91: He who abides in the shadow of the Almighty shall renew their strength. Stand firm and live out your faith, God will do the rest! Praying always. Love, Teresa
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