Legalizing Ditch Day Made a Big Difference
Posted: Thursday, April 03, 2008
by Teresa Ortiz
Freelance writer/Speaker
Our daughter made it through 12 years of school without a single unauthorized absence. O
ur son is a junior and so far his record is clean.
These days, ditching school is the last thing a parent is worried about. So why am I writing about it? It's simple. Creating a "legal" ditch day in our home opened the doors for honest communication with our children.
When I was a kid, I had a great plan to ditch school which didn't work out quite the way I planned. My husband has his fair share of ditching stories to tell as well. One of the things we learned as adults is that most of us do not grow out of this. Ever call in sick and go to the beach instead?
The reason is simple. We all need a "just because I don't feel like it" kind of a day. This of course is in addition to scheduled holidays and vacations. Most companies agree and offer personal days off.
When our children were young, we would take turns surprising them by picking them up early from school to do something special. They loved it! After doing this through grade school, we had a family meeting and created a "just because I don't feel like it" day off.
We gave them two days a year, one per semester. They were shocked! There were three qualifications:
1. No missed days due to being "sick".
2. No missing assignments or refferals to the office.
3. No other infractions of house rules.
This made an incredible difference in their overall behavior and respect for us as parents. Now, as with anything else, this was not 100% full-proof. We did have some occasional debates as to what qualified as an "infraction" of house rules, but we worked out the quirks during the middle-school years and it went amazingly well during the high school years. In addition to this, we still have our occasional dates with our kids.
They have told us that when temptation comes to invite them to do something risky, they remember our relationship and our arrangement and they resist. They also say that this is something they will pass on to their kids.
Making the time to date your children will make a big difference. If you just can't get past the legal ditch day, come up with something special that will work for your family.
Some of our most memorable moments with our children happened on Ditch Day. This is what I call grace in action!
Happy ditching!
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Hey Teresa. Good for you! We did this with our kids when they were growing up also. We called them 'R&R days' and called them into the school that way. They school office would ask "Is she sick?" "No" we'd reply. "Does she have a Dr appt?" "No" we'd reply. They'd inform us that is was an unexcused abscense and the offender may not be able to make up work. Sheesh! I thought I was the parent? Anyway, I think this is one of the reasons we still have wonderful relationships with our grown daughters. Have a great day!Hi LM! We call them in as personal and they want me to be more specific, and again I reply personal. Since when did they become the parents of our children? I'm glad to see it really does carry into adulthood! Thanks for sharing your experience with this. We always pray for our relationship with our children will grow stronger as they get older. I'm looking forward to those days, but I am in no way rushing them. A great day to you as well!
hi teresa, great minds think alike-i also have days through the year that i allowed my kids to stay home and just hang out and do whatever they wanted, as long as there were no tests or exams. they truly appreciated these intermitten days. the idea came from myself needing to take a day off every once in a while from cleaning and laundry, and just chill, and figuring it would be a good idea for the kids as well. it worked out nicely for all. thanks for a well written article.Hi Sue, we do think alike in a lot of ways. Yeah, we figured if as adults we needed one, surely our kids must. I'm glad you enjoyed reading. Have a fabulous weekend!. ((hugs))
I agree. My son went through right up until graduation, no absences, no disciplines, nada until he ran into "THE TEACHER who felt no one should graduate with a clean record. He learned a lesson about people that day. Good job.Hi Robert. Thanks for reading. Isn't it crazy that some people think something is wrong with teens who do not get into trouble? I am the first to say, my kids are far from perfect, but like your son experienced, some people think my kids are wierd because the don't drink. Go figure.
Thanks for reminding me about this! I did this on a few occasions for my kids, but then forgot and didn't make it a habit. Sounds very healthy to me, for everybody. Think I'll start it again!Hi Ruth, thank you for reading and your comment. Yes, do start it again. It is a wonderful idea and as you can see it worked for some others as well! This is one habit none of us parents should break :-) God bless! Let us know how it works out :-) Blessings to you! Teresa
I enjoyed your article. An interesting idea. Too bad my kids are in mid high school and that may be a tad late to start.Hi Mr. Keith, I'm glad you enjoyed the article. I don't think it's ever to late to surprise them. Just schedule a day off work for yourself. Plan a little outing. We never had a big budget to work with so we would go to Taco Bell for lunch and take them bowling or to the $1.50 movie. Sometimes we would go on long drives just to have ice cream on the coast. Your kids would love it and if you haven't done this yet, you will be surprised how much it will bless your teens and draw you closer. No matter how close we are to our kids, I think it still is a great thing to do. Long drives create more opportunity for conversation. We have learned a lot about our kids just by making small talk on a long drive. Give it a shot Mr. Keith, you will find it is not too late. Blessings to you! Teresa
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