Submission: The Greatest Gift a Wife can Give to Herself
Posted: Saturday, December 01, 2007
by Teresa Ortiz
Freelance writer/Speaker
"OVER MY DEAD BODY"! Ouch! These words sting, as I reflect back on a time when they were my ex
act words to my dad after he read Ephesians 5:22-24 to me. "Fine, have it your way, God will break you". Guess what? Over my dead body it was. (Spiritually speaking, of course.)
As I look back on some of the rocky times in my marriage, I had to admit, most of the reasons were in my control. It was my attitude. I had such a hard heart most of my life, always speaking my mind, never thinking about how I made others feel. This attitude followed me into my marriage. It's a wonder I married at all. (I look back and think, "What did he ever see in me"?)
Three years into my marriage, I responded to God's call on my life. Trying hard to be a good Christian, I read my Bible, I went to church and to Bible study. I gained a lot of head knowledge but I had a hard time putting these foreign ideas into practice.
The biggest issue for me was submitting to my husband. This verse has been abused by so many in the church, and I used to think that women who submitted to anyone, especially their husbands were weak (one of many misconceptions). Over time, God softened my heart and the knowledge that I had in my head was making its way to my heart. While I am happy to say that I have "died to self", I must be honest and say that the "old" Teresa likes to "resurrect" herself on occasion. All this to say that I am writing this article as a reminder to myself. But hey, if it encourages you, praise God!
"Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord, For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she should be holy and without blemish, so husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church" Ephesians 5:22-24
I see this passage a whole lot different than I did 19 years ago. I see it as a blessing and God's amazing provision for wives everywhere. I have come to learn that submission is the greatest gift a wife can give herself. That's right, I said gift. Before you get too upset, keep reading. If you've never looked at it this way before, I hope you come to see what Jesus is saying here. This passage does not put women in bondage to men, but frees them to serve God while being cared for by their husbands.
Knowing exactly what the word "submit" means, helps me to see the strength that comes with the act of submission:
SUBMIT = accept or yield to a superior force or the authority or will of another person; act of surrender; meekness and humility.
HUMBLE = showing a modest estimate of one's importance by an act of one's will.
MEEKNESS = Patient and mild, not inclined to anger or resentment.
I can't help but notice that these definitions describe Jesus. Several passages come to mind:
"...O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will." Matthew 26:39
"For I have come down from heaven, not to do My will, but the will of Him who sent Me" John 6:38
"Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking on the form of a servant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even death of the cross." Philippians 2:5-8
Okay, so if Jesus lived in submission, why shouldn't I?
As I continued to study Ephesians 5:2, I saw four little words "as to the Lord". Hhmm, so this means I submit to my husband as I do to the Lord? So how do I submit to the Lord? Do I submit? What is my attitude? I realized that the only way I can fully put myself under the authority of my husband, is if I can put myself under the authority of Christ. To do this, I must have complete trust and confidence in Jesus. I need to know that He loves me and has my best interest at heart. After all, how can I trust my husband to care for me if I can't even trust the Lord?
This is where it needs to start. Knowing how Jesus cares for me is the key to submitting to my husband. Secondly, when I remember that the role of my husband is much harder than my own, it makes it much easier to submit.
Take a moment to consider how you trust God. Do you believe He will take care of you? Do you trust Him to care for you as you entrust yourself to your husband?
Jesus said that a husband should love his wife as Christ loves His body, the church. What does this mean? Following is a short list of things to consider:
Because Jesus
Thought of Himself last,
Thought of others first,
Protects, Provides,
Gives more than He receives,
Shelters, Nourishes,
Presents me to His Father,
Answers to His Father for me,
Cleanses me, Prays for me,
Comforts and heals me,
My husband should be
Putting his family first,
Thinking of my needs before his,
Protecting me, Providing for me,
Giving me more than I give him,
Sheltering me, Nourishing me,
Presenting me to Jesus,
Praying for me and Comforting me.
WOW! And all I have to do is submit? Where do I sign up? O, that's right, I already have.
This changes everything for me! It's not a weak woman who submits to her husband but rather, a very strong one. It takes a lot of courage and faith to put yourself under someone else's care. God gives great place to women, the book of Proverbs is filled with warnings to men not to mess with women (paraphrased).
Just because there is a tremendous amount of distortion regarding submission, doesn't mean it isn't of God. In reality, it is a beautiful picture of the relationship between the Father and the Son.
As a strong and independent woman, I did a lot of the decision making (i.e. he made the decision and I did whatever I wanted). What God showed me is that I was robbing my husband of the opportunity to be the man God created him to be. Ouch, that hurt, knowing that I was partially responsible for hindering my husband's growth was not a good feeling. God forgive me!
It took trust on my part, but as I allowed my husband to make the important decisions on his own, and supported him even if I didn't agree, a funny thing happened. He began to ask for my input and receive my suggestions and opinions with ease. He saw that I no longer looked at him as if he were an idiot. We don't fight and argue anymore. Don't get me wrong, there are still many times we disagree, but when I hold my tongue and take it to the Lord in prayer, we always come together in agreement.
By submitting to my husband, he has grown into a man who seeks the Lord for his decisions because he knows that I am counting on him. He has grown into a Godly man, he always considers my perspective, and you know, most always, I get it my way.
Ladies, do yourself a favor, submit to God, submit to your husband. Lift your husband up to the Lord in prayer. Give him room to be the Godly man you desire him to be. I can testify, it is the greatest give you will ever give yourself.
Now that I have reminded myself of this fact, I can get back to practicing what I preach.
Yes, submitting to my husband has been the greatest gift I have ever given myself - God just might know what He's talking about after all.
(C) Teresa Ortiz
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Teresa, this is an article I think many, many women can relate to. I am THANKFUL that I married late (38 years old) because in my youth, I was too self-absorbed and fiesty to be either a good wife or parent. God is still grooming me but there is much wisdom to this article! Thank you and I enjoy your writing very much!
Hi Judi, I am glad it is helpful. If I can spare anyone all the muck I went through, it is all worth it. I married young, too young, (18 years old). Unfortunately, my selfishness led me to have a "bring it on" attitude. That is just what God did. In His grace, he broke me. My prayer, is that all wives out there would seek God's hand so that they can be molded into His image in a much softer way than I was. I love the word grooming. Thank God, I can now say "grooming" instead of "breaking" :-). May our hearts and minds continue to allow God to change us into the image of Christ! Thank you for the encouraging words. I haven't been writing for very long and I know have a lot to learn. Lesson # 1, conveying a message in writing is definitely more difficult than speaking.
Excellent article! I went to your ministry and like it very much. You and your friends are doing a wonderful job. May the Lord continue to fill you up with his wisdom and love. Thanks for sharing your wonderful gift of writing and biblical studies with us. In Christ, Angie LewisHi Angie, how are you doing? Thanks for reading and visiting my web-site. Praise God that you were encouraged. Thanks for your prayerful support! Lord bless the work of your hands as well! In Christ, Teresa
Hi,you are such an inspiration to the women and girls of today.Thanks for letting this out, cos one can not buy this wisdom, its truly God's gift to you. As the Lord drops more inspiration like this, don,t hesitate to bring it out cos you are definitely blessing someone-you blessed me.Mary,A. NJ.Hi Mary A,Thank you for the encouraging words. I am so glad you are blessed and I do hope it makes a difference for you and everyone else who comes across this article.It is my heart and going through the tough times of marriage in surrender to God brings great rewards.Blessings to you! Teresa.
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